Laser Eye-d

On the day of my laser consultation, I had many pressing questions which were answered as follows:

1. No one has ever gone blind from laser eye surgery

2. 98% of the candidates have 20/20 vision or better

3. The surgery does not hurt, all I would feel is a slight pressure on my eyes for a few brief moments

4. After the surgery my vision would be a bit blurry and I would be a bit light sensitive (so I should walk with sunglasses) but after I went home and rested for about 4 hours things would improve I would wake up the next day and be able to see

5. There is nothing to be nervous about

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Having now undergone the surgery I have some things to report in response to the above:

1. I am not blind (Duh)

2. As at this moment I have 20/20 vision but it may get even better

3. The surgery itself does not hurt. The entire thing is a bit surreal. I felt like I was in a dream. I had to focus on a flashing orange light and my eyelids were held open with a kind of clamp. My eyes were numbed with drops but I was awake and could see everything that was happening. I could see the layer of my cornea being peeled backward and the laser being applied and everything, but I couldn’t feel it. However, the “few brief moments of pressure” at the start of the procedure were bloody awful. What they do is attach a suction cup like in a vacuum around your eye to get it to bulge upwards and damn if that didn’t hurt. It was brief but it killed. Thank goodness I had a Nurse’s hand to hold on to, I know that makes me a big baby but seriously, it hurt.

4. I walked, or rather stumbled out of the operating theatre and once I hit the lights of the Reception area my eyes started to water uncontrollably. That, coupled with the eye-numbing drugs meant that I could barely open my eyes. I was put into a dark room with shades on and stayed there for about forty five minutes until my eyes stopped watering. Then the surgeon came, put some drops in my eyes to make them open and then when I still couldn’t open them more than half way he came around, physically held them open, checked my eyes and told me everything was perfect and he would see me tomorrow.

I thought he was completely nuts. Clearly everything was not okay as I could not even open my eyes to begin to experience the blurry vision they told me I would have. Thank God for The Prince who held me and manoeuvred me to the bus stop, got me on a bus and then got me home. I kept my eyes closed for almost the entire time. I felt like any light was boring holes into my eyelids. “Slightly light sensitive” my behind!!!!!!! I got home, took some pills, went to bed and slept for five hours. When I woke up my eyes were able to open and although they felt a bit gritty and sore, after I applied the drops provided (I have 3 different kinds) I was seeing – although bit blurry and I was still sensitive to light but only a little. Basically they glossed over an hour of agony and torment in their description of how things would progress. But I’m not hatin’. The next morning I woke up and saw the world clearer than I have ever seen it before. I almost cried.

5. For the hour that all the drama happened with my eyes not being able to open I was more than nervous. I was shitting myself, even though they kept telling me my reaction was normal. My surgeon made me really nervous in the pre-surgery discussion when he started in on the statistics of how may people get infected eyes (curable with antibiotics) or need repeat surgery or had the flap in their cornea made too big or small and still have to wear glasses when it’s over or wrinkle the layer of the cornea that was peeled back and have to get it reset the next day. But it was his method of making me realize how serious the procedure was and the importance of me staying still for the entire surgery and not making sudden movements and also the importance of not touching or rubbing my eyes, wearing my shades and preventing infection. It’s still not what you want to hear 10 mins before surgery however

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So here we are today, 4 days later:
I still have to use my shades and the three different kinds of drops (pictured)

I still have to sleep in these space age goggles (you’ll never see a picture of me in those)

And... I still have the huge red spots from the incision in my eyes (pictured) – but you can't see them as they are under the eyelid ... so I feel most wonderful.